If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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