Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
