It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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