i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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