He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think people are normalizing furries
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
