SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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