Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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