Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize