chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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