why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
