Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
