jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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