I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
