i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
