you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He kissed a someone with a penis
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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