you guys were way drunker than both of me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he puts the penis in happiness.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
