party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
