I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
