I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
