They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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