This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
