Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
