I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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