found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
