my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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