Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
