no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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