Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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