Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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