just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
