Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
