loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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