remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
