Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
