I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
