I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
