Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
