everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
