i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
