Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
