Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
