please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
