You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
