K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
