puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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