hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
