i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
