okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
