i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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