I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
