how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
