I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
