So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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