john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
