He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we're so committed to being not committed
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
