How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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