She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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