So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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