so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
