somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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