you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
