I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
